It’s always them, the notorious “they” that are the source of all ails. They impose unreasonable rules, restrict our freedoms or oppress our viewpoints. They censor everything we believe in, they want to push their beliefs on us, they want to force us to be just like them. They call us terrible names, disrespect us and think they’re so much better than us.
This argument has been a favorite for a very long time, and comes from any direction. Perhaps it’s picked up steam in the recent societal climate, but probably not. We just hear a whole lot more about “them” these days due to the ubiquitous social media feeds and the prevalence of doom scrolling through the news feed while stuck social distancing.
Who are they?
That’s indeed the question isn’t it? Are they a group of people that all wear the same uniform and travel in packs? Do they all subscribe to the same book club and finish each other’s sentences? Just stop a second and think about it… is there really a group of “they” that can be simplified into one monolithic singularity? Are there not individuals in any group that differ in one way or another, that may have independent thoughts?
They don’t exist
The answers above are obvious, of course there is no such thing as a unified “they”. We all have our individual point of view, our individual twists on opinions, beliefs and positions. Only when you get lost in your own head, lose contact and meaningful interactions with others can you devolve. That’s when you can become convinced that everyone must have the same position as you, because it’s the only possible position! Perhaps the increased isolation of 2020 has exacerbated this position, but I believe humans have been falling into this trap for millennia.
Who is pushing this “they” thing?
The source of this “they” thing is a basic argument error, the classic strawman where a false opponent is created only to be struck down. It is advantageous to use whenever a person or organization of people want to establish and win an argument. This tactic is prevalent in millions of pointless internet arguments, but more nefariously as a tool in media and political manipulation. I’ve hit this theme before, but it stands as true as always: firing up people against some enemy through anger or fear is an incredible motivator. These motivations are very easily manipulated into pushing agendas, or just boosting engagement and ratings for advertising dollars. The expectation is that we’ll be so worked up that we forget to take a second and question just who this “they” is. With the careful application of an extreme example and a slick extrapolation from that example to a whole group to oppose, one can very quickly manipulate a position and keep a viewer. Once we avoid talking to one of those people that we’ve labeled as “they”, we no longer have to challenge the position we’ve been given. More accurately, we probably already interact with all kinds of “they” every day but without engaged conversation on the topic we’ll never know it.
In the end this is a simple tool for manipulation. As humans we’ll fall for it almost every time, even when we are aware of this as a potential problem. This is painfully obvious everywhere today. Trump supporters become “they”, the racist idiot lot of deplorables. The BLM supporters become “they”, the collection of anarchist thugs intent to destroy suburban folks just trying to live their lives. All of this is taking advantage of a base desire for belonging in our social creature DNA and weaponizing it by supposing everything is an “us” vs. “them” dilemma that threatens our very lives.
Are we really threatened?
In reality, no. The media and our politicians have to work on raising the threat level to keep you engaged, to make you vote, to give them time or money. There is a point when activism becomes important to counter a threat, usually when violence is starting or ongoing and people are suffering. But that’s normally not the case, for example an inconvenience of covering your face during a pandemic is not suffering. Innocent people dying in a military coup… that’s suffering.
You’ll be in a much better position mentally and be able to spot these manipulators much more easily if you simply place some context around the subject. Does this whatever it may be take precedence of over what is happening in my immediate life now? The answer will almost always be nope. I still need to be present with what’s happening here, I still need to be genuine and show the love and compassion for those around me right now. Those two behaviors outweigh all theoretical threats and speculations over what “they” may be doing. Those two behaviors are also the very core of religions of all kinds, the very essence of a relationship with and through God of whatever name you choose.
What should we do then?
Very simply put:
- Change the channel
- Close the browser
- Turn off the screen
- Return to the beauty of the life around you
Doing so removes the power from those that are attempting to manipulate you. The more of us that do this, the weaker the systems of human power and corruption become and the more love and compassion we create for not only ourselves but the world at large.